Lioness & her new cub

The day my daughter was born was the day my life changed forever. The bubble I was in was so surreal. Looking at this little bundle of joy looking at me and me realising that she will now rely on ME for her entire life!! No pressure!!

I had felt like a strong person before having my daughter but I was always known as the person who was kind, selfless, always smiling and would do anything for anyone. Maybe this was my downfall! I was and still am a delicate person who would be taken for granted and anyone who knows me, knows I wear my heart on my sleeve. Having my daughter left my guard open so much.

3 days in a boiling hot hospital & not having any sleep due to my daughter wanting to stay awake all the time so she didn’t miss out on anything, made me hit the baby blues very quickly. I was so happy to see parents and best friend while in there to keep me going. Sleep was an unknown word. A hard part of my stay in hospital aswell as breastfeeding team stressing me out, I think also not being involved in many of my daughters first photos started to trigger something.

Am I just the one who’s given birth to pass over a perfect baby for photos or can I join in please! I hardly got including in photo’s and it started to feel hard like I was being left at the back of queue. Even when we got home; “I’ll hold the baby while you get some jobs done”…. erm??? NOPE!

Carrying your baby for 9 months & then people wanting to take your baby to give you a break 3 days after having her, really bothered me! Help was all that was needed & I started to be lead in a direction I didn’t want to be.

I think being vulnerable as a new mummy didn’t help and started the sad process of what was later realised to be depression and anxiety. Little did I realise I would be heading down this road of heavy emotions, CBT & medication but the question is does this make you stronger? It’s one hell of a learning curve I’ll tell you that! Let the journey continue! …

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The Journey Begins

Helloooooo! Welcome to my first blog! 

You would think having a wonderful husband and gorgeous 2 year old that life was perfect! It’s getting there but it really wasn’t.

My name is Natasha, I’m 32 and I’m a Mum who’s struggled with depression and anxiety since my daughter was around 3 weeks old. Not many knew or know that but I never spoke to anyone apart from my partner about it! I tried to open up to others in my family & my closest friends but all your mum tells you is ‘they’re busy’, ‘they won’t want to know’, ‘will they understand’? Times goes by and you dread to talk. Now is the time to do it.

Meet Phil and Isobella! The 2 people who have helped me through my crazy and emotional rollercoaster!

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I wanted to write a blog to help other mummies who don’t know where to turn, feel like they’re alone and search to find other mummies who are or have been the same. If I can help just 1 person, I’ll feel so happy! I’m always open to questions which I struggled to ask others.